![]() Is he finding it difficult to cope with school work? Is he acting out because he has no friends in school? Talk to his teachers as well. Try to gauge if your child is feeling neglected at home for reasons such as the birth of a sibling or mother going back to full-time work. This will help you understand what prompts him to be mean. Find out why: Ask your child if there is something bothering him.For example, does she tease others? Does she consistently exclude a child/children? Talk to your child and teach her appropriate social behaviors, such as being cooperative, taking turns, and sharing. Notice the patterns of mean behavior, if any. Be observant: Observe your child when she plays with other children."Being mean is usually a defense mechanism for children against a deep sense of hurt, sadness, shame or unfairness" So, here's what you should do when your child is being mean: They may feel ashamed to face the parents of the victim and also, angry with their own child for landing them in an embarrassing situation. At times, some parents feel guilty, blaming themselves for poor parenting. You might also feel anxious when the question, "Is there something wrong with my child?" arises in your mind. You may feel baffled and have no clue why your child is acting this way. The sight of your child being mean to others can be extremely distressing. They may say the victim is 'annoying' or 'weird' and feel that makes their unkind behavior acceptable." What can you do, as parents? They decide that the feelings of certain individuals don't matter, and so, feel justified in being mean to them. However, when children deliberately act in a mean manner, it becomes a matter of great concern.Īccording to Dr Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a US-based psychologist and author, "Children may be mean because of empathy blind spots. And, at times, it can be unintentional as a child may not even realize that he is being mean. Meanness could also be an impulsive reaction a child may feel angry or hurt and lash out. Here, it is probably because parents have not taught them to respect others." This is especially true when children are rude to domestic help. In some cases, it may be a sense of entitlement that makes children think they have the right to be rude. Being mean and hurting others also gives children a sense of power over others. This way, they don't have to deal with their own negative emotions. Instead of facing these feelings, they externalize their own pain with angry words and mean actions that hurt others. Gurgaon-based psychotherapist and life skills expert, Aparna Balasundaram, says: "Being mean is usually a defense mechanism for children against a deep sense of hurt, sadness, shame or unfairness. These are some of the ways children can act mean. ![]() ![]() Or, it could be worse - hitting a classmate or spreading rumors about someone they don't like. What is meanness in children? It could be pulling a dog's tail, making fun of someone's weight, or not allowing a shy child to play with the group.
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